The Green Hornet (2011) – Film Reel Reviews

A superhero movie without a superhero. Yeah, that’s a great idea. – Will

After his father’s death, Britt Reid decides to become a crime fighter with his father’s former mechanic Kato.

Directed by – Michel Gondry

Written by – Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg

Starring – Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Tom Wilkinson, Christoph Waltz, David Harbour, Edward James Olmos, Jamie Harris, Chad Coleman, Edward Furlong

I knew the moment that I heard Seth Rogen would be the Green Hornet that I was going to hate this movie. I don’t necessarily dislike Rogen but I’ve never been overly impressed by him either. I couldn’t possibly see how he would fill the role of a superhero and after watching The Green Hornet I figured out how he pulled it off. He wasn’t a superhero in the movie after all! He can’t fight, he’s as dumb as a brick, he’s clumsy, sexist, obnoxious, selfish and treats everyone around him like a piece of crap. Wow, I can’t wait to see if he can save the day now!

I feel like I’ve seen a few movies lately where most, or all, of the lead characters are giant assholes. Is there some sort of reason why the hero of the movie has to be a self-absorbed jerk? I figured that Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) would have some sort of dramatic change in the film. His father never seemed to be proud of him and nobody really expected much of him. When his father dies and Britt takes control of the family paper while also deciding to become a costumed vigilante, I figured that his attitude towards life and everyone in it would change. Instead of becoming what everyone thought he couldn’t, Britt instead continues on his path of selfish and stupid behaviour, screwing up everything along the way.

The Green Hornet takes flight, which is about all he can do anyway.

Jay Chou stars alongside Rogen as Kato, the faithful mechanic and coffee maker of Britt’s father and now the sidekick to the Green Hornet. Again I was left disappointed when I figured that Kato would be there to help guide Britt into becoming the man he should be. Kato ends up being almost as stupid as Britt but he can at least fight. They both treat each other like spoiled children fighting over their turn on the slide and trade punches as well as insults for most of the film. They really should have called this flick Kato because he’s the one who really does everything. Rogen’s Green Hornet spends more time whining, hiding and running while Kato takes care of the bad guys.

Speaking of bad guys, what a sad turn for Christoph Waltz. The last I saw him he was playing one of the best villains I had seen onscreen in The Inglorious Basterds. Here he plays a bad guy who seems to have a problem with getting people to fear him and he just coasts through the movie on neutral. The most interesting thing about him is his very odd double-barreled handgun. Finally we have Cameron Diaz. She gets almost no screen time and offers nothing for the film at all. I guess someone thought she looked good and decided to throw her in the mix.

His gun makes about as much sense as why Waltz would be in this flick.

This literally is the superhero movie without a superhero. Shouldn’t the Green Hornet be kicking everyone’s ass? Why does Rogen just bumble his way through the film, especially when he was a writer for the movie? Wouldn’t you want to write yourself as the badass of the movie or something? Instead we get Chou taking up all the fighting but it’s in some sort of weird light speed type movements. He takes a look around while all the weapons the bad guys are holding are highlighted in red as if he’s some sort of Terminator cyborg, he then bursts into action (well, slow motion action because slow motion is cool!) disarming and defeating the villains before anyone can even blink. It’s a way over the top moment in a film that is pretty grounded in reality for most of the time.

Even when we reach the end and you would think that the Green Hornet would finally come through and show us what kind of hero he has become, he winds up doing exactly what he did the entire film which is screw everything up. It wasn’t very funny and any action that may have been exciting is broken up by Rogen acting like an amazed 12-year-old. Every time that Kato does something extraordinary, Rogen as the Hornet reacts with ‘Woaaahhh, that was awesome’ or some other idiotic comment. A movie will usually have someone learning something by the end or becoming something greater than they were. In The Green Hornet that never happens. Britt Reid is the same spoiled man-child from beginning to end and never does anything to prove that he has bettered himself. A completely pointless film, unless the point was to show that a spoiled, rich bastard can become a superhero by finding a friend who knows martial arts and a girl who can do all the thinking.

Under the marquee – Will