This movie is bad but I spent the last 25 years trying to figure out what the hell it was! – Will
The crew of the Vertigo stops on an undiscovered planet and brings aboard a life form whose only joys in life are eating, singing and dancing.
Written and Directed by – Bruce Kimmel
Starring – Cindy Williams, Bruce Kimmel, Leslie Nielson, Gerrit Graham, Patrick Macnee, Paul Brinegar, Ron Kurowski
If you’re really into hurting yourself mentally then by all means go out and find this one. When I was just a little kid I remember watching this on SuperChannel, our movie network at the time. For years after I’ve tried to find someone who could remember it based only on my description of a guy who reads a lot of porn and an alien that sings and dances. Nobody knew what the hell I was talking about. Well, the joy of the internet finally solved the mystery when I asked around on Facebook to see if anyone knew the film and one of my friends responded in about 5 minutes. I had finally found out what it was I had watched 25 years ago and was determined to see it again. Seriously, 25 years. Can you imagine having something on the tip of your tongue for that long!
A quick trip to Amazon and the movie was on its way to me. I finally sat down and watched it and I can’t even begin to tell you how bad this thing is. I honestly wouldn’t recommend it to anyone but for me it will always be a cheesy part of history. I still enjoy watching Gerrit Graham as the horny shipmate and the aliens song and dance number is hilarious as he belts out a show tune with lyrics like “I wanna eat your face.” Everyone seems to be phoning in their performance and this has to be one of those movies that actors never want to hear about again. Maybe some sort of contractual obligation or something.
The crew of the Vertigo about to land on the uncharted planet.
Originally titled The Creature Wasn’t Nice, it was later changed to Naked Space. I assume this has to do with Leslie Nielson being in the cast and an attempt to grab some of the Naked Gun fame. Naked Gun this is not. Nielson delivers all his lines in the same sort of deadpan, matter of fact way but the dialogue just isn’t funny at all. Well, hearing him tell Rodzinski (Gerrit Graham) to shut his trap always made me laugh. The rest of the jokes are pretty cheap as well as the alien but that all just adds to the cheesiness. I find it hard not to like this one since it’s so freaking terrible. When the alien finally gets his chance to shine and bursts into song and dance before eating the crew members the comedy has hit its high point.
He's kinda loveable in a slimy sort of way.
If you’re a lover of really bad cinema and you can find this one then I say add it to the collection. Force friends to watch it so they become enemies. Make your kids watch it so they grow up to hate you. Hey, I’ll come over and watch it with you and I promise I won’t hate you for it after. I can’t say the same about anyone else though. I’m sure everyone has that one movie that nobody can stand to watch but you love for some reason. For me, this is it. Now that it’s finally part of my collection I can enjoy it whenever I want and I promise not to put it on during movie night when all you guys come over.
Under the marquee – Will
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