Final Girl Film Club – Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror

A professor unleashes hordes of the undead on some unsuspecting guests at his home.

Directed by – Andrea Bianchi

Written by – Piero Regnoli

Starring – Karin Well, Gianluigi Chirizzi, Simone Mattioli, Antonella Antinori, Roberto Caporali, Peter Bark, Claudio Zucchet, Anna Valente, Raimondo Barbieri, Mariangela Giordano

This one is for the Final Girl Film Club over at the amazing site Final Girl. But you probably figured that one out all on your own by now. I’ve got to start by saying, and I cannot stress this enough, this movie has absolutely no plot. I don’t mean that it’s dumb or that the idea’s in it aren’t explored enough, I mean it literally has no plot at all. There’s this professor at the beginning who is digging in an old tomb. He pulls something out of the wall and goes back into his home. He sits down and says something along the lines of ‘This is incredible and only I know about it.’ He then goes back to the tomb where he is promptly eaten by zombies.

The next thing we see is a group of people coming to his home to visit. One of them comments that the professor has something he wants to tell them. They then pair off and have sex until the zombies come and eat them all. That’s it. I mean literally, that’s it. I don’t know what the professor found or what it meant. I don’t know why the zombies have returned to life and what I really don’t know is why this guy wants to have sex with his mother.

What's worse, this guy or the zombies?

Yeah, that’s right. His mom. That’s Peter Bark (an adult dwarf) as Michael, a young child. This guy was more creepy than all the zombies in this flick put together. At one point he attempts to put his hand up his mother’s skirt until she stops him and slaps him. He’s later eaten by a zombie and returns to life. When he finds his mother again she cradles him to her at which point he sees his chance and bites her boob off. Is it wrong that I think saying boob is so funny?

The zombie makeup isn’t the greatest but it is still pretty impressive. It’s obvious that the actor’s are wearing masks but they are pretty well done and are gruesome looking. I had to give them extra credit for the fact that a few of the zombies are covered in maggots and worms. I don’t care what’s on my face, you’re not putting maggots or worms on it as well. The movie is basically wall to wall zombie with one death scene after another. The dialogue is minimal and unimportant. There’s no story at all so it all comes down to watching a group of people get stalked and eaten. And these aren’t your run of the mill brain dead zombies, oh no. They’re smart and accurate. They use all types of tools to get into houses and even manage to pin a woman’s hand to a windowsill with a thrown spike. That just makes it easier to reach up with a scythe and chop her head off.

This movie is pretty much what I’m coming to expect from Italian zombie flicks. Lots of gore, some gruesome yet poorly done effects, bad acting and an even worse story. I don’t know though, that all sounds pretty good to me.

Under the marquee – Will